Year: 2017
Director: Joachim Ronning and Espen Sandberg
Starring: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Javier Bardem, Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario, Kevin McNally, and zombie sharks
Synopsis: Captain Jack Sparrow searches for the Trident of Poseidon.
Synopsis: Captain Jack Sparrow searches for the Trident of Poseidon.
Review
I'm quite fond of the Rotten Tomatoes website, and it is rare that I see a movie given a rotten green splotch. Yet my curiosity won over and I opted to venture forth once more with Captain Jack Sparrow.
Well, it's better than the last one.
That's not saying much though. On Stranger Tides had plot holes so big you could sail the Spanish Armada through them. Dead Men Tell No Tales isn't all bad. It has aspects I appreciated. But let's start with the struggles.
One of the chief problems with Dead Men is that it tries to tell too many stories. Whose story is it? We are first introduced to Henry Turner, son of Will and Elizabeth. And though we spend much of the story with him, his narrative line isn't all that interesting. Jack of course is central to the story, but his antics are -- yet again -- focused solely on staying alive as yet another cursed villain wants him dead. We are also introduced to Carina, who serendipitously wants to also pursue the film's MacGuffin in order to resolve her daddy issues.
But wait, there's more. Hector Barbossa is also back with his own personal agenda. The villain has his own storyline -- including an excellent flashback when Barbossa gets him monologing. And then there's a British officer who ... um ... is somehow necessary because somebody else needs to be chasing all the other characters.
Henry's and Carina's stories are the most compelling. But Henry's is largely sidelined and Carina's is frankly far-fetched. She claims to be a woman of science (for which she is branded a witch [Seriously?]) and yet she is pursuing a mythical object. She also seems far too accepting of some of the plot twists. The whole film, Henry and Carina feel like bland imitations of Will and Elizabeth (characters who were exceedingly more likable, interesting, and charismatic).
Going in to Dead Men, or any of the Pirates films, I didn't expect great, logical cinema. But this one has moments that are simply ludicrous (I'm looking at you, St. Martin bank). And there is much that is simply pointless, adding nothing to the story and offering only cheap "laughs." Did we need Sir Paul McCartney as a pirate? No. Did we need that bizarre wedding? No. Where did that even come from?
Despite the action, the first two thirds of the film drag. But then, unexpectedly, things pick up for the climax. Once we have all our protagonists on the same (familiar) ship, the story holds together better and kept my attention. Finding the Trident of Poseidon and fighting the ensuing final battle -- while not without problems -- were entertaining enough and well-paced enough to temporarily make me forget all the slog we went through to get there. And I'll admit, the finale provides some nice closure to the franchise.
Other than the climax, Dead Men does a few other things right.
Captain Salazar (played by Javier Bardem) is a worthy addition to the franchise's villains. He is intelligent and intimidating. And his crew are interesting as well, visually that is. But the most impressive thing is the Silent Mary, their ship. Watching the ship rise up and strike down opposing ships ... yup ... that's cool.
I was, however, disappointed that Captain Salazar didn't seem to live up to the code he supposedly espoused, at least while alive. He makes a point to tell Barbossa that he didn't kill men, he killed pirates. Yet he and his crew have no qualm killing the officers and crew of two British ships. Granted, the Spanish and the British weren't exactly on historic good terms, but it does undermine Salazar's supposed sense of duty and honor without explanation.
And although ridiculous, I'll admit that the zombie sharks are also pretty cool. Why they have rotting shark carcasses on the ghost ship I have no idea. But just add water and boom! Zombie sharks to chase down Jack and Henry.
The music is also still good.
So, is Dead Men worth the voyage? That depends on how much you enjoy the franchise. If you still think Jack Sparrow is the greatest pirate ever, by all means go enjoy his rum-induced antics. Stay through the credits. There is a bonus scene which opens the door for yet more adventures.
*** Spoiler Section ***
OK, how many of these films has Hector Barbossa been in? This makes four out of five if memory serves. And at no point has there been an inkling that he has any interest in stars, the Trident of Poseidon, or the daughter he left at an orphanage. All of that I can accept. Pirate. But then he meets Carina and suddenly she is both his heart's desire (per the compass) and his "treasure"? And Carina accepts it, just like that? That's a bit harder to swallow.
I've never been all that fond of Jack Sparrow. In the original film, I liked Will Turner the best. So the ending of At World's End irked me, to say the least. It didn't help that when I saw the movie the person I was with wanted to leave immediately, so I missed the semi-redemptive post-credits scene. Flash forward ten years and I did finally get the closure I wanted for Will and Elizabeth.
The film ends and everything is all neatly tied up. Will is free from the curse and with his beloved Elizabeth. Henry has Carina. Jack has the Black Pearl. Jack and the franchise can sail off into the horizon. Roll credits ... and cue post-credits scene that brings yet another character back from the dead and opens the door for another sequel. <face palms>
Well, it's better than the last one.
That's not saying much though. On Stranger Tides had plot holes so big you could sail the Spanish Armada through them. Dead Men Tell No Tales isn't all bad. It has aspects I appreciated. But let's start with the struggles.
One of the chief problems with Dead Men is that it tries to tell too many stories. Whose story is it? We are first introduced to Henry Turner, son of Will and Elizabeth. And though we spend much of the story with him, his narrative line isn't all that interesting. Jack of course is central to the story, but his antics are -- yet again -- focused solely on staying alive as yet another cursed villain wants him dead. We are also introduced to Carina, who serendipitously wants to also pursue the film's MacGuffin in order to resolve her daddy issues.
But wait, there's more. Hector Barbossa is also back with his own personal agenda. The villain has his own storyline -- including an excellent flashback when Barbossa gets him monologing. And then there's a British officer who ... um ... is somehow necessary because somebody else needs to be chasing all the other characters.
Henry's and Carina's stories are the most compelling. But Henry's is largely sidelined and Carina's is frankly far-fetched. She claims to be a woman of science (for which she is branded a witch [Seriously?]) and yet she is pursuing a mythical object. She also seems far too accepting of some of the plot twists. The whole film, Henry and Carina feel like bland imitations of Will and Elizabeth (characters who were exceedingly more likable, interesting, and charismatic).
Going in to Dead Men, or any of the Pirates films, I didn't expect great, logical cinema. But this one has moments that are simply ludicrous (I'm looking at you, St. Martin bank). And there is much that is simply pointless, adding nothing to the story and offering only cheap "laughs." Did we need Sir Paul McCartney as a pirate? No. Did we need that bizarre wedding? No. Where did that even come from?
Despite the action, the first two thirds of the film drag. But then, unexpectedly, things pick up for the climax. Once we have all our protagonists on the same (familiar) ship, the story holds together better and kept my attention. Finding the Trident of Poseidon and fighting the ensuing final battle -- while not without problems -- were entertaining enough and well-paced enough to temporarily make me forget all the slog we went through to get there. And I'll admit, the finale provides some nice closure to the franchise.
Other than the climax, Dead Men does a few other things right.
Captain Salazar (played by Javier Bardem) is a worthy addition to the franchise's villains. He is intelligent and intimidating. And his crew are interesting as well, visually that is. But the most impressive thing is the Silent Mary, their ship. Watching the ship rise up and strike down opposing ships ... yup ... that's cool.
I was, however, disappointed that Captain Salazar didn't seem to live up to the code he supposedly espoused, at least while alive. He makes a point to tell Barbossa that he didn't kill men, he killed pirates. Yet he and his crew have no qualm killing the officers and crew of two British ships. Granted, the Spanish and the British weren't exactly on historic good terms, but it does undermine Salazar's supposed sense of duty and honor without explanation.
And although ridiculous, I'll admit that the zombie sharks are also pretty cool. Why they have rotting shark carcasses on the ghost ship I have no idea. But just add water and boom! Zombie sharks to chase down Jack and Henry.
The music is also still good.
So, is Dead Men worth the voyage? That depends on how much you enjoy the franchise. If you still think Jack Sparrow is the greatest pirate ever, by all means go enjoy his rum-induced antics. Stay through the credits. There is a bonus scene which opens the door for yet more adventures.
*** Spoiler Section ***
OK, how many of these films has Hector Barbossa been in? This makes four out of five if memory serves. And at no point has there been an inkling that he has any interest in stars, the Trident of Poseidon, or the daughter he left at an orphanage. All of that I can accept. Pirate. But then he meets Carina and suddenly she is both his heart's desire (per the compass) and his "treasure"? And Carina accepts it, just like that? That's a bit harder to swallow.
I've never been all that fond of Jack Sparrow. In the original film, I liked Will Turner the best. So the ending of At World's End irked me, to say the least. It didn't help that when I saw the movie the person I was with wanted to leave immediately, so I missed the semi-redemptive post-credits scene. Flash forward ten years and I did finally get the closure I wanted for Will and Elizabeth.
The film ends and everything is all neatly tied up. Will is free from the curse and with his beloved Elizabeth. Henry has Carina. Jack has the Black Pearl. Jack and the franchise can sail off into the horizon. Roll credits ... and cue post-credits scene that brings yet another character back from the dead and opens the door for another sequel. <face palms>
Quotable Quotes
- "Find Jack Sparrow for me and relay a message, from Captain Salazar. Tell him: 'Death will come straight for him.' Will you say that to him, please? I'd tell him myself, but dead men tell no tales." -- Captain Salazar to Henry
- "Guillotine? Sounds French. I love the French." -- Jack Sparrow
- "I once knew a Spaniard named ... something in Spanish." -- Jack Sparrow
ISFS
